krystens journal

Your result for Which Vampire the Masquerade Clan Are You?...

The Rabble {Brujah}

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HAHAHA!!! Thats right!

My hair off. YAY me!
I am so excited. Its going to be medium length. yay for hair going away.
Altho I dont think Hunter is too happy about it.

I am the worst at sending emails... ugh. GAME SHITY!

Ok so I know that as sheriff there are things that I need to work on. Constructive Critisim would be nice. A list of things that I need to work on is this(and a little bit easier now that I am only at humanity 1):

1.I need to start to be more envolved in the city problems by every problem is a possible breach. And when someone else is on an investigation I will be either directly involved or I will be in the know about everything that is going on.

2. I need to be more clear who I am deligating things too, and tell the citizens who I am delegating it too.

3. I need to work on saying no to other princes when they ask me to do sheriff thing's in their domain. I am sheriff for stockton not for Amador.

4. The biggest problem that I have is I need to start to take boons and stripping status for people not helping or by doing my job for me. Which I think I will make an announcement in court about this issue and tell everyone exactly what I am going to do!

Anything else that you guys have let me know. I think any CONSTRUCTIVE critisim is really good at this point. I feel like there are a lot of things I can work on.

I popped my ageis cherry on friday! I am so excited. Exept the rest of the night was annoying :)
Oh and I didnt die! Yay!

but last night i played a malkavian. Oh Man it was hella fun. Everyone thinks I am crazy because I am not crazy. So its hella funny!
Not sure where I want to take this character or where she is from... blah will only last for so long. So pretty sure that I am going to play her on sundays.
Kristen was right... I am to intertwined with my character and I want to learn how to branch out on another character. Your not playing brujah right if you arnt prepared to die. Soooo I am going to play a malk one night a week :)
So yeah thats that!

Seriously Metro Station Shake it is an AWESOME song. I love it!!!

Last night was the most fun in game that I had in a really really really long time. I hope that we get more "games" like that. I remember what its like to actually feel involved now. It was pretty much AMAZING! I loved interacting with monty, liz, and jim and both the st's that ran it were VERY consistant with each other. it was pretty much amazing
On another positive note i have two out of my three things for school done and only have one more paper to edit for the other one and then i am done. yay for waiting till last minute. ok i have been working off and on with it but yay for almost being done!
Last day of classes are tomorrow. then finals on the 20th. yay! then sign langunage in summer school. i am so STOKED!

Yeah so last night was such a blast even tho I am pretty sure I am gonna die or be in a box. I can't take all the Brujah myself but I could take a lot of them down before they get me. Thats sad to say but true!
Stupid losing my chop on the freaking splinter servent. That was pretty lame. I hope finn needed that freaking protection :) HA!
Pretty sure that last night was AMAZING!
It was really really really nice to game with autumn, steph and alex. That was really nice to play with them again.
Sorry to Larson. Man I feel bad, the funny part was I really was bout to cry because I truly felt my dispare in my character. Is that normal? Most likely not! But I truly felt my character and I have never been so involved in any plot like I was last night and now I know why everyone does what they do. Being involved to the extent that I was last night was AMAZING! I really did love it.
So thanks everyone for a really awesome night!!! Everyone roll played amazingly and good job Autumn for saving our asses with your "unuseful" power! :)
I had fun and I hope that I dont die because I want to play even more than I did before!

So Hunter and I had our one year on Sat. It was so much fun. We met at my work and we went to the movies. After a long discussion we decided to see Defiantly maybe, and go to dinner. It was so much fun. The movie, the beginning was good and the end was good but about an hour of not needed stuff was in it. But the ending made up for it. It was really cute. Then we had sushi. YUMMY!!!
Then we got home by 830. Then we just chilled out with my family. It was so much fun to actually call it a date. I love dates. I got him a guiness set of glasses with a tray that he picked out. It was so much fun. He paid for everything and that was the perfect gift to me. He hates to celebrate anniversary's but it was PERFECT!
Then on Sunday we went to game and it was so much fun. Seriously game was a blast. We missed you Eran it was nice to see you there.
So thats it for now. I am so happy and stopped wondering when is it going to fall apart. I feel great and for once he seems to be pretty happy too. Its a nice feeling!

I keep thinking about it and it is weighing me down. I can't let the thought go and it kills me. The more I try to ignore it the more I think about it. I am just not sure about things anymore and I am not sure which way to go. I don't want to fall apart, I dont want to hurt right now. My heart can't take it. I cant make anything better for him and that makes me really sad. I want to make everything better, i want to give him everything that I can and hope that what I offer is good enough. I want to make everything better and the more that he goes the more he just gets knocked down. I hate that he never gets a break. And I wish that I knew how to create a couple breaks for him so he wont hurt anymore. Someone tell me how to make EVERYTHING better and how not to be hurt by things!

So I didnt pass my test again. I need help and I finally talked to someone about helping me with this test. Its a really hard test to do and its frusturating and aggravating to keep having to take it over. But I have learned to just SUCK IT UP and do it over. I need to keep taking it until I pass. I worked really hard to get this job and I am going to keep working hard to get it. I just need to get pass this really stupid part of the job. I passed my dispatching class with a 89 and a 90%. Thats so good. But I now have to work hard for this job. Work my butt off.
I miss hanging out with my friends. I feel like everyone is off doing their own thing and forgetting each other. I miss being girly. Everytime I hang out with my friends I miss other ones. I miss Darby, I miss what our friendship was. Its my fault that we dont hang out but I miss her. I miss hanging out with Porch and Eran. I miss Eric, I think thats some of the reason that its so hard to go over there. I miss him and I miss hanging out with the boys. I miss going on double dates with Jayne and Matt and now that they are getting married tomorrow I feel like we arnt going to go on dates anymore. I miss double dates with Jaclyn and Scott too. I just miss those two in general. I miss game how it used to be not so segregated and I miss how we used to be at game. I miss seeing Autumn and Alex there because game isnt the same with out there SMARTASSES. I miss Sean. I truly do miss that boy. I miss the other Autumn because she is just amazing. I miss everyone and its hard because to hang out with one I hurt someone else. So now I just dont hang out with anyone. I miss having friends. I just miss my friends. If I ever get this comm center job I wont get to game anymore. I just miss it.

When I first started to game and everyone and everything seemed to fit just right. Where I felt truly happy. During the time when Darby and Alex were dating and Scott and Autumn were dating. Not that I want any of them to date again, I just wish that all of us could have had progress together as friends and moved on together as friends. Its hard because during that time it seemed like everyone was genuenly happy and things just seemed right. Dont get me wrong. I think that scott and jaclyn are happy and darby and eric are happy and alex and autumn are happy, Also I would no change my boyfriend for anything. but I just miss how I felt back then. Back then game was fun, no drama, and it was great. Back when sacramento was the best place to go and the only game that I went too because It was fun. Back when court was lit by candles and when everyone was talking trains would go by. Back when anarch was fun. Back when everything made sense because game was truly a community. I hate what it has become and not a single person has contributed to how it is now. Everyone has. Everyone has made the mistake to drink too much, to talk behind this or that persons back, to do stupid things at stupid times. Not one single person made it the way it is now. Not me, not anyone. We as a whole community made it how it is now, and that hurts because now our community isnt a community, it just is what it is. And honestly thats quite sad.

Let me tell you how nice it feels to fianlly have a character worth something. Its great!

Things are intresting.
GRRRR!!! Smile!!! GRRR!!!! Smile.
Yeah thats how intresting they are. I hate being so happy and so mad at the same time.

Just because we spend a lot of time together does not mean that we are together spending time.
Why do men not understand this???

I think I am going to either do weight watchers or la weight loss because I want to be the girl that loses weight because she is in a relationship then the girl that gains it because she is in one! But I don't know which one to do. I really want to do one tho and get down to a size8! That would be amazing.

YEP! So here it is... I went to the pirates premire in disneyland that was AWESOME.
My boyfriend is amazing and I find myself slowly starting to take him forgrantied. I have to constantly remind myself that comfortable is okay but really comfortable isnt. I slowly start to realize that everything he says i am starting to take personal. I am finally starting to see that he is coming back to me for cuddles tho. Its been a while and I think that the lack of it hurts the worst.
I hate work... SOOOO much. I am so tired of the same old thing over and over again. I wish that I could move kinda away. You know cali still but away. I am so tired of things. of course that said... i want my boyfriend to come too. he is NOT included in the tired of things.
I am tired of feeling like I have no life. I feel like everything I do is nothing and I am going nowhere. I want to new job.
That said and done... I did sign up for school so my depression should be going away soon. So is hunter going back to school. Thats great because maybe both of us will start to feel like were moving somewhere in our lives. I am ready to be someone. I just don't know who yet!
That said, I really want to move out. I want to be able to come home and set my stuff wherever I want to and know that that place is mine. Every room is mine. I want an apartment sooo badly. I want to have friends over at 2 am. I want to be able to sleep in my bed with my boyfriend in it. I want to go out till freaking 5 am and go back to MY place.

I want to start my life.

So It seems that I might try to get a new job. I love the one that i have but how can you pass up making 18 an hour? Anyways Its something that I would be very interested in because I am a people person. Anyways, It seems like a good job and then I can move out and start my life. I hate feeling like I am stuck in the same spot with no where to go. I hate feeling like I cant make it better for myself or for Hunter! So I am putting forth the effort and hopefully making it better for both of us :) So that said and done... I am so happy with my life. For once as a person I feel really really content with my life. I relixed that if your not happy with your job that your not happy with anything. Honestly... I am happy with everything because I realized that I finally have a commitment. I am not scared of him leaving me anymore. I am not scared of anything anymore because I know that he actually wants to be with me. YEA FOR FUCKING UP AND THEN FINALLY UNDERSTANDING HOW HE FEELS :) My boyfriend is amazing :)
HOPEFULLY NEW JOB AND HOPEFULLY A NEW LIFE!

So because of her reason of me doing WOW... I am now going to WOW! Someone stab me now...